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There are so many times that I hear women complain about their men not helping with their children or around the house. Sometimes I want to ask are you encouraging them to help or are you discouraging them from helping. It is so easy to discourage their efforts causing them not to even try.
Are You Discouraging or Encouraging Your Man to Help
On occasion, my husband will let me sleep in while he takes over kid duty. One morning I woke up to overhear this conversation:
“Mom isn’t going to like this” My oldest son Logan was reasoning with my husband. To which my husband replied ” This is a daddy approved breakfast” my husband assured him.
In the kitchen sounds of laughter peaked my interest. What I found was all my children covered from head to toe in red velvet birthday cake. At first, I thought ” Are you kidding me these kids are going to be hyped all day long?” When I opened my mouth to say this out loud it was almost as if God told me to stop. And stop is what I did.
You see a lot of times we want our husbands to help us. Sadly when they do attempt we as wives just can’t help but to add unwanted advice. I know I have been guilty of this myself a time or two million. Now if you are thinking I never do that look at these examples:
- But dear the kid’s clothes don’t match
- That’s not how I fold that
- It will work better if you do it this way
- You should have done this first
Ok, I think you get the idea 🙂 These suggestions that we try to express to our husbands as helpful as much as we think we are being can be somewhat critical. Think of how you would feel if trying to help your husband he always seemed to have a better way of doing everything. I myself would not like it. These helpful suggestions, in turn, discourages them from helping us. Now I know that we as women have our own way of doing things (everyone does) but it is because of this inability to let go of control that causes our men to feel like what’s the point.
Try to offer words of praise instead. No matter how big or how small the task may be make sure they know that you appreciate what they have done for you. Just like us (women) our husbands like to know that you appreciate what they have done for you.
So embrace the crazy way he folds the towels because at least he did it. Thank him even when he feeds the children red velvet cake because he was attempting to help you by feeding the kids a meal. And if you are having trouble letting go of the perfect way you like having things done and just smile and remember that at least he is trying to help you.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
I would like to invite you to my Facebook group Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?