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Often times we come to points in our lives where we must forgive others. You know the drill your husband does something you don’t like, a friend does something or says something that upsets you or whatever it may be. And during those times we are supposed to forgive and yes even forget. I know forgetting is easier said than done but honestly when we do forget it makes life so much easier.
I don’t know about you but often times I find this is very hard to do. You see I am a stewer. (Yes I just made up a new word). I will stew on a situation, analyze the situation, replay the situation in my head and still, I have come up with no closer. The only thing I do seem to do is to let the problem consume me and other areas in my life. I even let it shade my focus on the Lord. After all, when I don’t forgive others I am doing things my own way, not the way God wants me to….
I believe this is human nature trait. After all, to some extent we all share it. However, has I watch my toddlers play I am beginning to think that this is more of a learned trait. I most certainly don’t believe that we were born this way. Instead threw many bad experiences we have adapted and transformed ourselves to be this way.
At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4
Life’s obstacles harden our hearts piece by piece. Until if we are not careful we start losing pieces of our “childlike” selves. Our eyes start to lose sight of God’s purpose and plan for us. Instead of forgiving our spouses, friends and loved ones we start washing our hands of the whole situation. Then we are left confused s to why those relationships start to break down. All because of our inability to forgive.
Forgiveness allows other things to happen. It allows you to love more freely. Appreciate each other deeper as well. It also gives a chance for both parties to heal. Forgiveness is a must!!! After all, we trust that when we do things against God’s will that we will be forgiven. So why would we or should we not do the same thing for others? We would be awfully saddened if God refused to forgive us.
So what if you are the one who needs to seek forgiveness? How does that work?
Being the one in the wrong is never fun.I would much rather pull my own teeth out than to say ” You know I wrong and you were right”. However, to develop healthy relationships with God and others this is a must!!!
I remember when my husband and I first got married. That first year was brutal. Arguments and disagreement seemed to happen every other day because we were both unwilling to forgive. We eventually learned to do 4 things…..
1. Agree to disagree – Though we may disagree I accept that my husband is the leader in this household and that in the end what he says goes. (This was a very hard one for me to learn)
2.Pick you battles – Leaving the toilet seat up in the grand scheme of things is not the end of the world.
3.You must learn to forgive- When the other one comes to you and expresses they are sorry you must be willing to LET IT GO.
4. You must also learn to ask for forgiveness- Not this also means that you need to try not to repeat the same offense
Once you figure out you are in the wrong
1.Ask for forgiveness – James 5:16
2.Try to fix the problem. Like my grandma always said sometimes actions speak louder than words.
3. Try really hard not to repeat the same offense.
Need a fresher course on how to do these things? Watch a child argue over a toy. Sure the argument lasts for a bit there are screaming and hardcore emotions shown. However two hours later those same two children will be playing together once again like nothing has happened. Because they have a lesson to teach us, parent/adults ……..Forgiveness
Until Next Time Just keep Soaring 4 Him,Christian Homemakers in Training where we dive into homemaking, motherhood, marriage and group devotions. After all, we all need a safe place to grow together, right?